Decided that I wouldn't wait so long between blogs this time. There are so many things that I wish that I could write in this blog that I just can't. Sigh for things unsharable lol.
There is still stuff that I can say though. For instance the guy sitting right behind me right now, who I get along with, is about to kill me. I'm sitting here listening to him sing to the music play (which isn't that bad because at least he can actually sing) but in between words that he knows and notes he can't hit is this sucking noise. He is eating ranch sunflower seeds and the noise is all spit filled and gross sounding. I really want to reach around and pop him in the mouth. Even though I know that I would probably get in serious trouble, every time I hear that slurp all I can imagine is my fist his face. Damn, I really am violent. I became aware of that when my momma looked at me and said "Clare you have always been violent but I think the Army has made it worse." Touche, Momma, Touche.
I think my violent tendencies is also why I smoke so much, and drink when I get the chance. I'm a happy drunk and smoking calms me down.
Anyway in other news. The headaches are getting fewer and far between. Which makes me extremely happy. I have one right now but it isn't nearly as bad as some of the other ones. I also got my boxing stuff so I have a good stress reliever. (Pineapple) The medication that they gave me probably has something to do with it to. One of them I have discovered makes me very calm. I dig it it because it keeps me from getting angry with my sergeants and losing it.
Today is a rough day though. I woke up and missed my God-Daughter and her mother like crazy. I don't know why, I guess I had just been avoiding thinking about it and it hit me this morning like a Peterbilt (its a semi truck for those of you going "WTF?") I started singing my God-Daughter's song in my head and I just couldn't get rid of it.
Sometimes I laugh so hard that I can't breath
Sometimes I hold my breath to grit my teeth
Now the memories keep running through my brain
I just wanna hear that little voice say
She's finally home
There's more to it but it's kinda long and almost lunch time lol.
Keep up with me
Love,
Clare Kathryn
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