You know I'll never understand why God gives you something to almost immediately take it away. Things you want to keep forever, you only get a month. Then I have to wonder how long I would really want to keep it? If I never get to keep anything over a couple of months, do I even have the ability? Who knows I'm sure you guys are really lost by now but some days you need to get a little lost to figure out what way to go next.
Anyway, I have an addiction. It's horrible. Ok maybe I have more than one but I'm talking about the newest one. We all know that I am addicted to tobacco, tattoos, and Southern Comfort. This time though it's weird. It's Arizona Sweet Tea. It comes in this big 23 oz can and costs 99 cents. I think I have one everyday and its defiantly not getting old. I'm sure it will eventually but for right now let the addiction continue.
I talked to my best friend, god-daughter and parents yesterday. Hearing their voices helped me out. I'm not in such a grumpy mood anymore. I miss them so much I almost can't handle it. I'm not very good at this whole missing people business. Before AIT I had never truly missed anyone before, but once I learned how it's nearly impossible for me to shut it off. I mean I can block it out like I do most emotions like that and I can hide it to a certain extent but it's becoming increasingly difficult. Missing someone hurts. It makes this hollow sucking feeling in my chest that goes with me everywhere. I feel like its a bomb that's got a faulty switch and doesn't know when to go off. It just seems like I'm missing a piece of my heart which I'm guessing is the reason why they call it "missing" someone. I know I'm a nerd to think about that but someone has to right?
Some days here are harder than others. When I'm not so preoccupied with work or trying to do social activities, things begin to weigh down on you mind. Then the next thing I know I find myself thinking about it for days. So in other words, damn I need to keep myself busy.
Keep up with me
Love,
Clare Kathryn
"Missing" Someone is natural, it's a good thing because you still have emotions! The army has just lately put all that on hold because your taught not to have them and it's easier not to because it makes it easier. That may not make sense to some people but you know what i mean so its whatever. i know i havent been there in the last year really but i am here now if you ever want to vent like before. And you have always put your emotions on hold and then they come back and hit you hard at once we both do it i've learned thats not always good lol. your blog will help some but it brings back memories you wish you could re-live, and actually thats good because it gives you something to look forward to just dont get stuck in the past, live in the present and dream for the future! <3 you!
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